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It was sometime in the middle of the summer of 1999. I'm pretty sure it was May, but I have to be totally honest; it was one hell of a summer and I don't remember so much. We were on our way to our friend Kid's party, a five-dollar affair at a venue called the Masterdome. This was the second party they'd thrown there. Utopia II. The first was also 5$, and it was incredible. Everyone was talking about it. So we decided that we would go- the price was right. There were five of us. Me, Lucky, my ex-girlfriend Michelle, a guy named Taggert and Motorhead Melanie. Motorhead Melanie ASSURED us that she could get us in for free. Her boyfriend knew a guy who was in the marines with some guy who was working the door... Whatever. So we show up at the party, it's raining. It's cold. And this place is fucking packed. They over-promoted in a major way. We're talking about a venue that will hold 1000 people on a good day. And there were easily 5000 people inside, outside, trying to get in, spilling over into the parking lot, into the street. Everywhere. Motorhead Melanie INSISTED that her boyfriend could get us in, so we let her out to look for him. Meanwhile, we encountered a nice girl in the parking lot who informed us that the situation was hopeless. The party was sold out, and the cops were already on their way. She did, however, invite us to get a hotel room and party with them later. We said we'd think about it, and pulled into the Denny's (ah... Denny's. Is anything better than coffee and egg substitute after a good party?) two blocks away to mull over the situation and wait for Motorhead Melanie. The DENNY's is full of fucking ravers. In fact, there was a LINE to get into the Denny's. The parking lot was already totally jammed with pink-fur clad, elmo-clutching, glitter-bedecked kids when we got there. Kids were running around in the rain, blowing whistles in the D's line (a line!), bumping their stereos. There was a party going on AT FREAKIN DENNY's. I do not exaggerate. So we're sitting in the parking lot, inside of Lucky's van, waiting for Motorhead Melanie and generally feeling stupid... when suddenly we spotted the girl from the parking lot! Her name turned out to be Jenna. We invited her into the van. Jenna explained that she and her boyfriend were getting a room, and that there were lots of people coming. But she had to wait for her boyfriend to show up, because he had the cell-phone, and people had to be contacted. Her boyfriend's name was Mikie. We found him in the parking lot. Mikie is one of our best friends to this day. At the time he was an.. Independent Pharmaceutical Retailer. Yeah. That's what he was. Mike got into the van too. So mike starts calling people on his cell-phone. "Yeah. Hey, dude. We're in the Denny's parking lot. We're in a big white van!" And they found more of their friends, and their friends saw more of their friends. I think at final count there were 16 people in the minivan. But still no sign of Motorhead Melanie. And then the Helicopters came. There were SO many people at Denny's (!) the police had dispatched helicopters to clear the parking lot. And they had PA's. We were all pretty freaked out. "Please vacate the parking lot." Said the Helicopters. "Oh, shit." Said the kids in the van. "Please exit the parking lot or you will be arrested." Said the Helicopters. "So, are we getting a hotel room or what?" Said the kids in the van. "Don't worry about the hotel room." Said my then-girlfriend. "We can go back to my sizeable dorm!" That may not have been exactly what she said, but it was something along those lines. We split up, gave out directions, and reconvened at the Cal State Los Angeles Freshman House. And all of our new friends called their friends. And of course, Mikie did some distribution of his wares, which made everybody very very very very very very very happy. And at one point, my girlfriend-at-the-time, who had tried two of Mikie's products and was esPECIALLY happy, looked up from what we thought was a coma (but wasn't) and said, "Fuck UTOPIA... This is ETARDIA." And the rest is pretty much history. We got everybody's phone number in the morning, and got everybody together the next month. .. And the next... And since then the vibe has expanded...
Revkate@etardia.com
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